Harry Potter and the Chaotic Crossovers
by LadyArtemis1087
Summary: A collection of one-shots of different crossovers as characters from other books/animes are thrown into the world of Harry Potter.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Yu Yu Hakusho. Though that would be awesome, it is sadly not to be.

"I _hate_ babysitting." Yuusuke sat down on a cushioned bench that was way too comfortable for a school bus. How rich were these people?

Kurama sighed, "Yuusuke, we are not babysitting, we are on a mission to protect a target. We must make sure this boy gets through his school year safely."

"Hn. Why should we care? It's Koenma's fault he didn't notice the guy didn't die when he was supposed to." Hiei entered the compartment and slid the door closed behind him, if the ningens were smart they wouldn't come anywhere near. He was _not_ pleased with the current situation.

"Hiei, while that may be true, we're profiting from his mistake. We get to see England, learn new things, and our sentence is reduced." Kurama smiled at the fire demon, as much as he dislike the mission, there were upsides to it… they just had to be looked for, was all.

"Hn." Hiei jumped up onto the window sill, which didn't look like it was able to support a person, but Hiei somehow managed to make do.

"Whatever. Protecting, babysitting, they're the same thing. Stupid Kuwabara's lucky he got to stay behind to make sure nothing happened to Japan while we were away." Yuusuke glared at the air in front of him. "Keiko is gonna be so mad when she finds out I left again…"

"You didn't tell her? Yuusuke, that's terribly inconsiderate of you. I told my mother right after I learned we were leaving." Kurama turned to give Yuusuke a disappointed look which would have had any normal person apologizing profusely, but Yuusuke, being rather dense, did no such thing.

"Well jeez, Kurama, not all of us can be momma's boys like you. Keiko will just ask Kuwabara, who will tell her, and then she gets mad at him, vents to me over mail or something, and by the time I get back she's so grateful to see me again I don't experience half of the chewing out I would have got." Yuusuke shrugged, it had become second nature to avoid Keiko's rants if at all possible, no matter what length he had to go to.

Kurama sighed, "She's only concerned for your safety. You don't have to be so callous about it." He would never understand how someone could be so impolite, even if it was Yuusuke he was talking about.

"Whatever. I'm going for a walk." Yuusuke stood up and moved to the compartment door, grateful for the first sliding door they had found since coming to England.

"Try and find this Harry Potter kid while you're doing so. We need to find out who he is." Kurama sighed as the sliding door closed with a bam. There really was no need for Yuusuke to be so loud.

The door had barely been closed a second before it was slammed open again. At this rate, Kurama didn't know how long the poor piece of wood would last. "Found him! This is him, right Kurama?" Kurama looked at the seventeen year old boy that had been tossed unceremoniously on the ground in front of him. Untamed dark brown hair, black glasses, lighting bolt scar, emerald eyes, he certainly fit the description. Yuusuke stood triumphantly in the doorway, "What next, fox?"

"Don't call him that you idiot." Hiei glared at the detective. A slip like that could jeopardize their identities; Koenma had made it clear no one was supposed to know they were demons.

"Yuusuke, Hiei, be polite-" Kurama froze when he saw Harry pull something out of his robe, then sighed when he saw what it was and was about to proceed to calm the boy down, but Yuusuke opened his mouth first.

"Haha, are you honestly pointing a stick at me?" Yuusuke had closed the door by now, once again with a loud thud, and Harry looked confused as he began to stand up.

Kurama winced, Yuusuke was an idiot. How could they pretend they were eastern wizards when he didn't even recognize what I wand was? No matter how unorthodox eastern wizarding was, anyone with a bit of a brain would know a wand by sight. He just hoped Harry was culturally oblivious enough not to know that. He turned his attention away from the thoroughly confused boy and back to his partner. "Honestly, it's called a wand, remember-"

"Oh yeah! Genkai told us those were important!" Yuusuke grinned and reached into his pocket to pull out a wand. Kurama wondered how it could possibly not have broken so far with all the jumping around Yuusuke had been doing since they got onto the train.

"You nitwit, how could you forget something that simple." Hiei growled from his perch on the windowsill, scaring Harry, again, who had forgotten that there was someone behind him. Really, the child needed to be more observant. They would have to work with him on that.

"Yes, they are wizards, so it-" Kurama tried to calm things down a bit. Why was it always his job to be the voice of reason? He needed to talk to Koenma about receiving help in that area whenever they went on missions.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember, alright? I just forgot." He turned back to Harry, who was still standing in the middle of the compartment, wand out, and unsure of what was going on. The look of confusion on his face was kind of endearing. "Do you pull rabbits out of hats?" Yuusuke grinned as he flicked his wand about, trying to make something happen.

"No! That's just a muggle magician thing." It seemed when he was addressed, the boy would respond, especially if the question was utterly ridiculous.

Kurama glanced at the fired demon still perched on the window sill to see him eyeing the detective warily. Hiei let out a hiss, "Baka, drop the wand."

Yuusuke laughed, "Scaredy-pants, don't worry, you're sister's not around to get hurt."

"You idiot, that's not what I'm worried about!" Hiei jumped off the window sill to try and grab the wand, but Yuusuke jumped onto the bench.

"What now, shorty? Can't reach it, can you?" Yuusuke stuck out his tongue at the infuriated, short, black-haired demon as he held the wand up as high as he could, moving it in time to all of Hiei's superspeed jumps. Great. Now the human knew that Hiei, at least, was too fast to be a human.

Kurama was not pleased. They were not keeping information about their abilities secret, nor were they making a good first impression, nor was this exactly decided to intervene. "Yuusuke, that's probably not wise…"

"Nah… I'm sure it's safe." Yuusuke grinned and began to flick the wand around with increased vigor.

Hiei was not pleased with this development, to say the least. "Idiot! Don't-"

BOOM

Soot covered the room and they all began to cough as it entered their lungs. Harry, being the only one who actually knew how to use a wand, muttered a quick spell under his breath and the air began to clear. Yuusuke was still standing on the bench, looking surprised, while Hiei and Kurama were glaring at him.

"Um… would anyone mind telling me who you are and why you dragged me into your compartment?" Harry looked around at the three people. They were officially insane. The one that was wearing a white sleeveless top and jeans didn't even know what a wand was! And why was one guy in a green dress-like thing, and the other wearing a black martial arts outfit with bandages on his arm and forehead?

Kurama smiled at the boy as he brought a seed out from his hear, grew it, and set it to work cleaning off his garments. "We," he paused as he drew out another seed to help the first plant do it's job, "our your bodyguards, simply put."

"What?! I don't need bodyguards! I'm seventeen for Merlin's sake! Jeez, one dark wizard trying to kill you and suddenly the headmaster's hiring people to protect you." Harry ignored the seed thing, instead focusing on what was the bigger issue at hand. He did _not_ need another babysitter. Hermione was good enough at that already. Not to mention the entire Hogwarts faculty. Yeah, he still got into a lot of trouble, but that was beside the point!

"Well, excuse us. It's not like we're particularly pleased to be here, you know. The weather's much nicer back home. And we get to beat up more people." Yuusuke flexed his fist to add to the effect of his last statement, a wide grin on his fist at the thought.

Hiei, however, was not about to be dismissed by a stupid ningen. They were here to protect him, and he would except their protection without complaint and with awed gratitude. "Hn. Stupid ningen." Hiei brought out his sword and within seconds it was millimeters from Harry's neck. "Still think you can protect yourself, boy?"

"Hiei! Put the katana away. I'm sure he appreciates our help, don't you, Harry?" Kurama sighed, Inari, why did he feel like he was babysitting a bunch of preschoolers?

Harry scrambled backwards, "Sweet Merlin! Um…yeah. Thanks?" He stared at the three insane boys; somehow, he really was thinking that it was them he needed to be guarded from. The explosion and sword might have had something to do with it.

"Hey look, I figured out how to make flowers with my wand!" Yuusuke grinned as a bunch of yellow flowers began to sprout from the seat, "think you can use them, Kurama?"

"Idiot, they're just daisies." Hiei sheathed his sword, turning to face his current annoyance. "No one will run in fright from those, even if Kurama is wielding them."

"Um… what's so special about the red-haired guy using them?" For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why the red head using them could be any more important than the other two. And what he would use them for, he couldn't figure out either. Not that he knew if he wanted to know, or… this entire thing was just too confusing.

Kurama felt his normally calm demeanor begin to crack. How many more secrets would the two reveal in this short train ride, much less the entire trip? So much for trying to keep their abilities unknown. The only one whose strengths had not been revealed was Yuusuke. The detective had revealed Kurama's own talent, provoked Hiei into revealing his, and made himself look completely harmless in the process. Sometimes he wondered if Yuusuke planned these things, or if he was just lucky.

"Hey look I made the flowers dance!"

And then he wondered why he ever had to think about it in the first place.


End file.
